Posted by : Stevie (Toontastic forum)
Date : 31/12/09
Subject : Derby Fat lad

One year at Derby I as just a kid really, 14 I think I was, was the game we lost 4-1 with three sent off. Derby had a firm called the Derby Lunatic Fringe, and as all the coaches were pulling away they started showing up looking for stragglers or so it seemed.

Anyway we took a wrong turning on our minibus, and all of a sudden about 30 of them clocked us on this road on this industrial estate, near the royal mail building for people who know Derby, and we're stuck at some lights, and they start running towards our minibus, I was crapping it being the age I was, although plenty of them on the minibus would fight anyone.

Anyway the lights changed just as they got 20 feet from our bus, thank god, but 100 yards away there was another set of lights most of the Derby stopped chasing us apart from this one fat lad. He could narf run for a fat lad he kept running, so someone shouted at the minibus driver to stop, this fat lad "come on then you geordie ***** you aint goin nowhere!", one of the lads big hard bloke with a reputation, jumps off the bus shouts at him "we are goin somewhere and you're coming too", he ran at him, hit him once and dragged him on the minibus! Locked the door, and didn't let him off till we got to the Talk of The Tyne in Gateshead. Was a bit harsh but the bloke deserved it big time. Very funny.

Posted by : ChezGiven (Toontastic forum)
Date : 31/12/09
Subject : A nice drop of Spanish Brandy

Sat next to Bobby Davro on the plane to the Real Mallorca UEFA game. I was stuck between him and his sound engineer in the middle seat and got an insight into his questionable recreational habits. On the trip, drank a bottle of spanish brandy after lunch, got told off by Peter Beardsley's brother (alex's dad might have been there), had a tab slapped out of my mouth by a copper and got on the telly at half time. One of Steven Taylor's first full games iirc.

Posted by : Brazilianbob (Toontastic forum)
Date : 31/12/09
Subject : A brush with Busby

In the early 70's, can't remember the year exactly, Newcastle were at home to Man U and me and a mate had popped into a city centre hotel for a quiet pint away from all the busy pubs. Anyway as we were sitting in the lounge, I saw a lot of people looking out into the foyer, so I says to my mate I'm off to the loo and see whats happening out there.

I walks out into the foyer and saw all the Manu players exiting the lifts and walking out to the coach, Bobby Charlton, Best, Law, Kidd, you name it they were all there, and I was still looking over my shoulder at them when I pushed open the toilet door only to hear a loud clunk noise followed by a muffled exclamation.

I carefully pushed the door fully open to be greeted by the sight of the Manu Chairman Louis Edwards, and Sir Matt Busby who had been standing behind the door. On looking closer Sir matt had only the bowl of his pipe showing between his teeth, and it seems that when I pushed open the door it literally shoved his pipe down his throat. I naturally apologised profusely but they still exited the toilet muttering dark things against all things geordie. Didn't even give me an autograph!

Posted by : Jamie Gordon (Toontastic forum)
Date : 31/12/09
Subject : Fun in Frankfurt

Me and a few mates traveled to the Frankfurt game in the UEFA cup. We got there a few days before the game and had right good p*** up we never knew Frankfurt had a 23hour drinking law so we were drinking for probably 22hours and 59seconds each day.

On the day of the game we staggered around the streets of Franfurt waiting to watch the mighty Toon kick some German a***! we were drinking bottles of Jagermeister in the streets waiting for our tram, yes tram to arrive to get us to the stadium. The tram arrived and was nearly empty it had a few middle aged German’s on that all had facial hair even the women. Within 4 seconds the tram was full of excited and very very drunk Newcastle fans the faces of the innocent Germans was worth the trip alone.

The journey on tram begun stopping just a few times to pick more drunk toon fans up. As we got closer to the ground the excitement grew stronger and the singing became louder we all started to jump and dance about. Then there was this ear splitting alarm going off if was to tell us that the tram was inch's away from tipping over this for some strange reason was hilliarious and everyone thought it would be a good idea to see how far it could tip without going over. Luckily we arrived at our stop before it tipped over.

We got the ground and I discovered my ticket was different to everyone else's I was sitting in the neutral's end four blocks away from my mates in the away end, where about they were sitting in the away end I had no idea, so I had to make a plan to get in there. I waited just before kick off when everyone was standing up and clapping, I got out of my seat and walked along the gangway then just ran and jumped into the away end. As I was in mid flight some big German grabbed me but as he grabbed me I turned around and gave him a slap. There was then a little brawl and i just sneaked of into the crowd.

Ten minutes into the game there was a tap on my shoulder i s*** myself but then i turned round to see my mates p***** as farts laughing at me.The game was boring as hell.

Posted by : Kevin Carr's (Toontastic forum)
Date : 06/01/09
Subject : Brighton Rocks!

Me my brother in law and his brother travel down to Brighton for the FA cup game the one before the Trelford Mills replay. Apart from nearly knocking over 2 hitchhiking toon fans who seemed to think that the best place to get a lift on the A1 was right in the middle of it we made it down to London where our inadequacies at navigation were exposed.

Basically we didn’t have a clue where to go next and hadn’t bothered to bring a map. At a roundabout, my brother in laws brother wound down his window and asked a gentleman who was on a bicycle stopped next to us if he happened to know the way to Brighton. Now we had been drinking (I was under age but that didn’t stop me) but the reaction of this southern cyclist to me was unforgivable. He looked up saw that his exit was clear and said "what the f*ck are you on about" before cycling away.

My brother in law who was driving was given the instruction to "follow that cockney ****" which he did. My Brother in laws brother (there should be a quicker name for him lets call him Neil) wound down his window as we pulled up alongside the cockney cyclist and kept pace and said "I bet you're sh*tting yourself now eh f*cknuts" and took a long swig out of his brown ale can. He then proceeded to expale said brown ale with great accuracy right in the face of the offending cyclist who lost control of his erstwhile vehicle falling off it and buckling his front wheel. I am positive that as he was falling he heard the cry of three Geordie voices driving into the distance shouting "Cockney w*nkaaaaahhh".

As an appendix due to our combined lack of knowledge we left the north east far too early and managed to get to Brighton at approximately midday which was lots of fun.... not.