Posted by : mrbojangles
Date : 09/01/10
Subject : Sneaky fag

I went to watch England at Wemberly, think it was against Croatia about 2 - 3 years ago. I got wasted before the game and needless to say was a bit worse for wear after. I needed a fag so got off the train in the middle of nowhere for a sneaky fag on the platform. Needless to say the train pulled off with my mate asleep on board (if your reading this kidlewis it was Hutchin) with my coat and wallet.

Ended up trying to walk 40 miles home and ended up somewhere called Tippington near Oxford. Made it to the service station after walking in one direction for about 4hours where I had to reverse the charges to get my dad to pick me up (we were not speaking at the time) he took the day off and got me but as I’m diabetic had no insulin so was the worse for wear when he got me. . . . . . BAD TIMES

Posted by : Starsailor9774
Date : 09/01/10
Subject : Body in the garden!

The day before the 1996 Coca Cola Cup Final v Leeds I went to a club in Birmingham and got stupidly drunk. Got in a Taxi about 3 in the morning and promptly spewed up........ offered to pay for it but then next thing I know I’m being dragged out the taxi in the middle of someplace I didn't recognise, with the driver going through my coat pockets (soon discovered he had taken my wallet and credit card.... ).

So I walked round in circles and eventually fell asleep in a front garden! About 8AM I woke up to policemen and paramedics standing over me after they had reports of a "body" in the garden....... Sobered up pretty quickly after that and told them about my night. They seemed to think it was quite amusing in the circumstances but I apologised for having got into the state i was. Then after spotting a bus go past which said "Birmingham" on it, I cheekily asked if they would give me a quid to get into town.

Finally got home just in time for my mate to pick me up to go to Wembley. More drinking on the coach on the way, then got to the ground, only to find my work manager (a Birmingham fan) had got us tickets for seats amongst the Leeds fans! Managed to keep quiet till Savo scored and then gave it full hammer singing....... Leeds fans took it pretty well. had a hangover for at least a week after that.

Posted by : Dudley_villa
Date : 11/01/10
Subject : There's always a way!

Odense away inter-two-bob... 3 of us drove to Stansted on a Thursday night to fly out to lubeck Germany at 6am on Friday morning. Got the train from the airport to Hamburg to get the connecting train to Denmark, on arrival in Hamburg i decided to a ask a few cabbies if they was interested in taking us to Odense!.. the 4th one agreed after the first two laughed in our faces and the 3rd one called us crazy English b*stards!

Agreeing on a price of 240euros we loaded the bags in the boot and set off, after about 10 mins he stopped off at a shop so we decided to get some supplies for the journey, crisps, chocolate and a crate of beer and off we went!.. 40mins later we pulled up at a junction and my mate in the front starting pointing at a building... at second glance I realised it was the shop we stocked up at! I was about to ask the driver what the crack was when I noticed he had not 1 but 2 sat-navs and still got lost!! Reminding him we had agreed on a price so not to try and pull our pants down over the fee!.

About an hour an half later we must have all fell asleep and was awoken to fella shouting and pointing at his sat-navs... soon we will be at the bridge and you need to pay the toll he says.. No problem mate just wake us up when we get to the bridge we need to sleep!.. 30 mins later he dose the same thing and wakes us up to pay the toll yet we was still on the motorway.... just wake us up when we get to the toll my mate snaps... about 20 mins later he dose it again point at the sat-navs, this time we could see the water on the sat-nav so we knew the bridge was near!

All of a sudden he stops sharply and says F*ck no bridge!.. Ehh what you mean no f*ckin bridge how we gonna get across now? I thought the bridge was here!.. Well it was before he said... so where is it then Hans has someone nicked the bridge ya jerk!

After checking on someone’s map we was miles from this bridge he thought we were heading to even the next tunnel was a couple hundred kilometres away and we would never make the game, then out of the distance we see a boat coming in and start to wonder where its going, after the communication problem and pointing to map where we need to be we agree that we can pay the nice man he will take us on the boat!

Glad to get rid of the dippy cabby the cheeky git insists we pay the full fare! we give him 150euros a dry slap and a dead leg!.. After about 45mins on this boat we finally get to some part of Denmark we are still unsure where we docked but had to get another 2 bus's to finally reach Odense, to top it all off when we got to our hotel the Radisson to check in and my mate says Laursen look, expecting to see a photo on the wall it was the great dane himself, the whole squad was staying there too... unbelievable!.. all for the villa, oh missed 2 goals aswell!